I don't know what to do. I've left my current job of a year and a half and have been looking for a job for a month now. Being honest about it, i really haven't been looking really really hard. I probably have only looked probably a weeks worth the whole month ive been out of a job. Im not trying to be lazy, but i might come off as being lazy if you see me. I feel like when i go out to look at jobs, the ones that i really want are taken. Being in a small town makes it even harder to find something. I have so much pressure on me to find something. With the bills piling up, it doesn't make it easier for me. I keep hoping the jobs i have applied for, at least one of them to call me and ask me in for an interview.
One of the main reasons i quit my job is that i felt in my life that i needed to get back into church. I talked it over with my manager and it just would never work out to get every sunday off. So i made a decision to quit. Probably not the best decision i have made in a while but I think it was an ok one. But now that i have quit, i like going and I'm getting back in the habit of going.
With trying to find a job hanging over my head, I also had a really disturbing dream in the last week. It was so surreal. To sum it up, it was about Jesus coming back. The more i think about this and with the help of that one guy long long ago saying that Jesus is coming back in 2012, in that moment i felt scared. Scared for my life and the decisions ive made. Dont get me wrong here, i have accepted Christ in my life but, more of feeling scared of things that i need to be doing instead of what im really doing. In my dream, i was at a friends house down the street in the middle of the day. We were catching up on the years we had lost. I could tell the more and more clouds were coming in really fast. It seemed to get darker. In a matter of about 5 minutes the whole sky as far as the eye could see was like a really dark blue. The navy blue but a little darker than that. By this time im really really really scared. I grab my friend and we run for shelter in their garage. I look up at the sky and it's jet black. I see this color white form a line in the sky. Then like nothing else, the line split like a zipper and then i hear this deep deep unheard voice say. This is my Son. I gasp, and sit up in my bed. I don't think i have ever been freaked out by any dream up until this point. I don't know how He will come back or when He's coming back. All i know is that He has said to be ready. I think that was a wake up call.
So out of everything I have said in this post, I hope to have done a couple of things:
1. Relieve some stress by writing again.
2. Hopefully get refocus on my main goals.
3. Maybe let others know how my spiritual walk is going.
