Ive prayed everyday. Everyday i ask God to put me in a workplace where He wants me. Ive asked God to open up other doors at other workplaces that might spark a fire for a lifelong career. Nothing specific right now. I cant even think of anything i would even be remotely interested in still. But at the same time i dont think all this extra crazy stuff is helping me. Im not focused. Im too stressed sometimes to not even be able to think or concentrate on anything good. My heart is no longer beating at sns. I just dont want to settle. I feel like im in a hole and im never gonna get out. But, i feel like God is keeping me at sns for some reason. Since all of this shake up has happend, a coworker of mine knew that i went to church and just asked me out of the blue if she could come with me. I mean if He wants me there to speak the gospel and share truth with them thats one thing but if its something else im just ready to go. Im so emotionally involved with sns. I dont want to see it fail but i dont want to feel like im under heavy chains either. At this point i dont know what i need to do. I feel like im beating a dead carcass.
I know I just need to put all my trust in Jesus and not worry about it. He is more than enough. He is my provider. He can give, but, He can also take away. I do trust Him. But, i keep going back to the cross and picking uo that burden i dont need to be carrying around with me.
Thanks for listening to my stress rant.